Empathy in Action: How Working with People with Intellectual Disabilities Changes You

Working with individuals with intellectual disabilities doesn’t just change your schedule or your skill set — it changes you. It changes how you see the world, how you treat people, and how deeply you listen.

Before I began this work, I took a lot for granted. I could walk into a restaurant, order whatever I wanted, and be understood. I could bathe or use the bathroom without help. I had the freedom to make choices and the power to change my circumstances if I wanted to. But that’s not the case for the individuals I now support. And seeing life through their perspective has opened my eyes in ways I never expected.

When Compassion Meets Connection

I’ll never forget when the mother of one of my clients told me she had never seen her 16-year-old connect with someone so quickly. That moment stuck with me — maybe because I’ve often felt out of place myself and know what it’s like to want to be understood. Or maybe it’s because I simply care, especially for those who don’t always have a voice.

That’s what empathy is at its core: not just feeling for someone — but feeling with them.

The Quiet Language of Understanding

Empathy doesn’t always show up in grand gestures. Often, it’s in the quiet, consistent presence you offer every day. My clients are nonverbal, so I’ve learned to read body language, facial expressions, and subtle movements. When they’re overwhelmed or uncomfortable, I can often sense it before a word — or sound — is ever made. But getting to that point takes time. In the beginning, you need to rely on your heart. You have to be patient and truly willing to learn their language.

How It Changes Everything

This work has completely reshaped how I engage with others — both inside and outside of my job. I’m more patient. I listen more intentionally. I think more deeply about what someone might be going through before making assumptions. That kind of shift doesn’t just make you a better DSP — it makes you a better human.

To Anyone Considering This Work…

If you’re unsure about stepping into this field, know this: If you let it, it will change you. It will shift how you view difference, ability, and community. When you see someone stimming in public, instead of looking away, you might say, “It’s okay,” or even stim with them to make them feel seen. You’ll start recognizing how much beauty exists in forms of expression others overlook.

Working with individuals with intellectual disabilities has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. And not because I’ve changed someone else’s life — but because they’ve changed mine.